dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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