somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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