Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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