Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
