There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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