great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
