They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
