I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
