Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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