Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
