"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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