are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
