You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
