fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
