the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
