There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
