Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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