Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
