I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The best revenge is premature balding
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
