Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
