There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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