Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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