i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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