i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
