is your mom at the bar?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
