Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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