alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
