it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
