Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i've created a new STD.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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