I wannas sexs uuuuu
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
