Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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