Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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