Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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