BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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