idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
