can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
