He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
