At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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