My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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