She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
