about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
