You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
