1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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