btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
