I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
