i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
