my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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