Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
