And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Where is the hickey?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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