Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How does one acquire holy water?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
