So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
