This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
