i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
