To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
